6 Benefits of Girls Milk
Six benefits of girls milk:
1. Cat can't drink,
2. No need of glass,
3. No expiry date,
4. Packed in beautiful container,
5. No need to boil,
6. 1+1 offer,

Difficult Sport to Watch
Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch? Women's doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don't know which one to watch.

Wife Met Her Husband at the Door
The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk of alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," she barked, "There is a very good reason for you to come drifting in at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."

Ppyaar Karna Nahi Aata
Wife 2 husband: Tumhein pyaar karna nahi aata?
Hus: Achha to ye 3 bachhe kya internet se download kiye hain?
Wife: Nahi! ye to sharmaji ki pen drive se liye hain.

Gift from London
Wife: I am going to London. What gift do you want?
Husband: A British girl.
(Wife return to India)
Husband: where is my gift?
Wife: Wait for nine months.

Heaven & Hell
What is heaven?
Thousand of girls and buckets of beer.

What is hell?
When you come to know that the buckets have holes and girls don't.

Girl and Amul Butter
What's common between a girl and amul butter?
Both are utterly butterly delicious when spread. One on bed and another on bread.

Excuse for Mistakes
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"

Women's Life
Women's life is very hard.
Morning: wash the dress.
Noon: dry the dress.
Evening: iron the dress.
Night: remove the dress.
Midnight: search the dress.

Divorce
Judge: Why do you want divorce?
Man: She doesn't satisfy me on bed.
Judge: Is it true madam?
Lady: Damn it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.

Girls - Best Vehicle
Girl is the best vehicle in the world front two bumpers, back two bumpers, self lubricant when hot, finger touch ignition, monthly automatic engine oil change, every type of piston fits, highest mileage of nine months in just two ml fuel.

Biology Class
Biology class teacher: All of you draw the male reproductive system. Student: Sir please close your zip, girls are copying.

300 Times a Year
Wife read a book and tells her husband, a bull ucks 300 times a year. You don't do quarter of that. Husband: does the book say the bull ucks the same cow?

Good vs Bad Girl
Difference between good girl and bad girl.
Good girl: Open a few buttons in hot atmosphere,
Bad girl: open all button to make the atmosphere hot.

During Dinner
How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner?
Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.

Cheat
Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me?
Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids!


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Its hot! I like it.

My Dad Has Two
Sex teacher draws picture of male sex organ and asked:
Does anyone know what this is?
Kid: ya, my dad have two.
Teacher: two?
Kid: A small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.

Broken Specs
A boy comes to class with broken specs.
Teacher: what happened?
Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
Teacher: But how did your specs break?
Boy: she closed her legs.

Height of shame
Height of shame: You running with a full erect male sex organ towards a wall and your nose collide first.

Define Rape
Define rape: rape is not a crime; it's just a surprise sex.

Army Guy Married
An Army Guy Got Married ,
On 1st Nite realizes Wife is Haveing periods.
He telegrams to HQ: Red alert on front.
Extend Leave Reply: From HQ: Attack frm back And report?


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No Smoking
Girl: Sorry sir u can't smoke here.
Customer: But I bought the cigarettes from your shop?
Girl: We also sell condom.
But you can't start fucking here.

No Panty Today
Bond 007 : Mona, ur not wearing panty today?
Mona: Yes sir, ur great.. how did u know that?
Bond 007: I can see dandruff on ur shoes.

8 Year Old Son
Santa: My 8 year old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant. Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

Perfect Boyfriend
8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised.
In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S

11 Benefits
11 benefits of masterbation.
1:- Self Reliance
2:- Time Convience
3:- Prevention of Crime
4:- Mental Choice of Lady
5:- No Risks of AIDS
6:- No Special place Requirement
7:- No Wastage of Cash
8:- Easy to Perform
9:- No fear of early ejaculation
10:- Guranteed Satisfaction
11:- No Risk of Being Caught.

Nurse Lost Her Cat
Nurse lost her cat in Hospital.
Nurse: Any one got a pussy,
All women stood up,
Nurse: I mean any one seen a pussy,
All men stood up.
Again, Nurse: I meant any one seen my pussy,
Then All doctors stood up.

Sex With Patient
Doc 1: Shit I had sex with my patient, I m feeling guilty.
Doc 2: It happens in our profession, take it easy.
Doc 1: Ya..Ya..but u see.. im a VETERNARY DOCTOR.

Beauty is to...
Beauty is to see & to touch,
Flowers are to smell & to pluck,
Nipples are to play & to suck,
Women are to Love & to Fuck,
All these are free but depends on Luck.

Confidence and Confidential
Pappu: What's the difference between Confidence and Confidential?
Santa: Yo are my son I'm Confident. Your friend is also my son, that's Confidential.

Real Record
Afridi made 100 runs from 37 balls. Its a simple record.
The real record was created by king Faisal,
Who made 100 sons from just 2 balls

Magnetic Field Problem
Dear subscribers: Due to a fault in magnetic field and signals of our service your hadsets will vibrate for one hour..so u plz keep it under ur pussies or dick.
Hav fun n enjoy....*CUSTOMERS CARE*

SEX is My Fav
SEX is My Fav.
I Do it regularly.
Do it & Feel Gd!
U'll enjoy it!
I'll Die without SEX,
S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise,
So do it everyday, gd for u.

One Foot
A woman married to a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother: "My husband only has ONE FOOT".
Her Mother replied: "You are lucky, your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES"

Teach Mathmatics
How to teach mathmatics to a Girl?
1st: add lips
2nd:minus clothes
3rd:divide legs and then
Start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.

Prohibited
Officer: Madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: Then why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: Well, that's not prohibited.



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Recommended Dosage of VIAGRA
Recommended Dosage of VIAGRA
New Girl friend: No need,
Old G/f: 1/2 tablet,
Mistress: 1 tablet,
Wife: 2 tabs + whisky + blue film + will power

On Their First Night
On their first night:
Husband: Is it really ur first night?
Wife: No... No... actually it is first time at night!

QUOTE OF THE CENTURY
QUOTE OF THE CENTURY: We all love to spend lots of money on buying new clothes,
But never realize that the best times are enjoyed without clothes!

Chemistry Class
In da chemistry class teacher asked a gal: What r nitrates?
Ladki ne sharma ke kaha: Night rates r costlier than day.

Will Power
At 33 he quite smoking (will power)
At 43 he quit Drinking (will power)
At 53 he quit Gambling (will power)
At 63 he quit SEX (Power Failure)

Shoe Laces
Shoe laces and smart men have one thing in common...
They keep in touch with serveral holes simultaneously.

Smallest Hotel
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
VAGINA INN,
Bcoz it can accommodate only one standing Member with his luggage hanging outside.

Clever Date
A guy picks up a girl 4 the date,
Boy: Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Similarity
Wats da similarity b/w a lady and a chewing gum?
Ans: Both r sweet and tight in the beginning
but become tasteless and shapeless later.

Feel Low
Whenever you feel low,
depressed or useless,
Remember that you are the same sperm
that won a battle against a million others....


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Why...?
Q: Why men walk more and women talk more?
A: Coz men have three legs and women have four lips!

So Clean
Two girls are having shower together
First one ask: hey sweety ur pussy is so clean how?
Second one repls stupid have u ever seen grass on busy road.

Pastime
A kid asks the priest Father,
What is ur pastime?
The priest taps the kids shoulder and replies, Nun my child nun.


A Question
Girl: Mom Whats Penis?
Mom: When you become a good girl you will get one.
Girl: What if I dont become a good girl?
Mom: Then you will get many!!

Who am I?
I have hair on my base
I am six inches long when i go inside
& outside white foam comes.
Guss who am i ??
U dirty mind i am TOOTH BRUSH

24 Carrot Gold
Why girls like gold more than boys?
Bcoz gold has 24 carrot, but boys have just 1 carrot.

Sayings
Old saying: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy and wise.
New saying: Early to bed and early to rise, makes your women go to other guys...

Calls
Wives r Incoming Calls
Lovers r Outgoing Calls
Aunties r Tollfree Calls
Callgirls r Roaming Calls
Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls.

2 inches
A man stands nude in front of a mirror n examins himself n says:2 inches more & I'll be a king.
His wife sitting behind says: 2 inches less & you'll be a queen.

Moderb Era
This is a moderb era, no one has time.
Girls put the mobile in pussy in vibrator mode,
Ask boyfriends to ring... This is called E-Fuck